It’s like being in a well with no ladder, no rope and no steps. There is no way out. You are stuck facing the same bricks over and over. The walls look the same and they feel like they are closing in on you. You look up and you see the light above. You wish you could reach that light, breathe the fresh air, feel the sun on your face and know that you are free from the dark abyss.
I have struggled with anxiety all of my life. Up until recently, I thought that I would be inside this “well” my whole life and that I just had to accept that fact.
It’s not true.
Anxiety doesn’t OWN any of us unless we let it. We can get out of the well!
Have you ever asked yourself why you have anxiety? Or asked why and how it’s triggered? I finally have and here’s what I have figured out:
- If I don’t take care of myself, I have more anxiety.
- If I put unrealistic expectations on people, I have more anxiety.
- If I try to control situations or people, I have more anxiety.
- If I think negatively, I have more anxiety.
- If I allow myself to feel like a victim and think my anxiety is a punishment, it increases my stress and decreases my belief in myself.
- If I allow what other people think of me to affect me, I have more anxiety.
- If I try to be someone I am not, I have more anxiety.
I am sure everyone has their own “ifs” and their own triggers. I have blamed everything and everyone for why my anxiety exists. But blaming is not the answer nor will it help.
By asking why and how, I have come to know myself more. I have come to learn both my weaknesses and my strengths. I have been able to pull up or draw out that hidden part of me that I have clung onto and hated for so long. I have felt it deep from within my heart. I have cried a thousand tears of frustration, grief, anger, resentment, bitterness, and sadness. I have stared my anxiety in the face and screamed. But after that….
I have been able to release my negative emotions.
I have been able to turn my anxiety ridden thoughts into moments of clarity about WHY I am thinking that way!
I have felt peace.
I have felt happiness.
I have felt strength.
I have become more positive.
I am more aware that I don’t have control and never will.
I believe in myself more.
The person I truly am is emerging every day in teeny tiny ways.
My friends…. you can do this too. You can face your anxiety. You can face your fears. You can allow yourself to feel the ugliest emotions you have ever felt and be able to come out on the other side of it better than you can imagine!
One of the reasons we have anxiety is because we don’t allow ourselves to feel. We may think its our fault. We may think there is something wrong with us. We may think there is no way out. Whatever the reason may be, we stuff it down and out of the way.
But it is not true! There is nothing “wrong” with us. We are all a ‘work in progress’ but we are also capable of loving unconditionally. The most important person that needs unconditional love is you! You need to give love to yourself. You need to forgive yourself. You need to feel and you need to believe in yourself! Then anxiety can no longer have the upper hand.
This not a quick fix. Those of us with anxiety disorder cannot just take a pill and “POOF,” its gone. It’s hard work. It’s a daily fight. It’s a slow shift that happens one tear at a time, one thought at a time, and one belief at a time. But most of all, by doing this work, it provides us the opportunity to experience a glimpse of what we could be and how we could be….our truest, most authentic, loving self.
But it’s a fight we can win.
Much love from above. ❤