In the deep abyss of longing, these words floated to me through the dark….
“God, please allow me to have faith. Allow me to remember that I am not in control, and trust the process. Help me to remember that every circumstance is a gift given for our highest good. Give me strength to see the bigger picture and know that I am loved and blessed from above. Point me in the direction of my purpose and show me how to believe in myself and in You, even in the darkest of times.”
A timely message from my Divine guides, I heard this prayer amidst a dark few weeks. When fear and anxiety took hold, it was almost impossible to come up for air. I hadn’t been present. I hadn’t chosen to step into my best self. I felt lost.
I have anxiety. I live a daily life with negative thoughts, fear, worry, and panic. I worry about our world and if we are safe. I worry about the health of my mom. I fear never being able to have a second child. I fear that my son will get hurt or injured. I worry that my husband and I will never be able to see eye to eye. I have a fear of success and a fear of failure. I worry and fear so many things that sometimes I feel like I am losing control. There is never any break. There is never a sense of relief. It’s hard to believe in myself because I feel so unhinged.
And then the prayer happened. And negative thoughts evaporated, only to be replaced with:
I know I am better than this. I must let go of control. I must trust and have faith.
Such hard things to do….
The prayer above was my Divine team preparing me for a very large door to open. My purpose was being plopped on my lap, and I know opportunities like this don’t happen often.
The opportunity was to be given a chance to start a podcast, one with messages of rebirth and movement, hope and love. I am beginning this beautiful adventure with my best friend, Molly. And my dear friend Kelly T. Smith is the one who has given us this opportunity. It isn’t finished yet, but the podcast will be called The Butterfly Kinection, so stay tuned for more info on this.
I don’t have all the answers. But I am discovering through this opportunity that if I believe in myself, things are going to get easier. If I feel like I am worth it, my purpose is clear. If I follow my true purpose, the fears and worries are put on mute.
I have always felt like I have a lot to give to this world. I have so much hope and love in my heart.
I feel my purpose blossoming and I’m excited and scared at the same time. But, I am stepping into the person I have always known I was. And,I plan to erase my anxiety by finally stepping into myself wholly.
After all, life is a gift. And though I may not be able to see the bigger picture, I know this is my purpose… to help others to grow. I want to inspire people to be their best selves and help them work through their darkest moments.
I want to be a light in the darkness because I have been there myself.
And even though I’m scared, I must say the prayer and take a leap of faith.
We all have purpose in spite of our weaknesses. We all have the strength to rise above them.
It’s time for us all to believe in our purpose and together we can change the world. ❤